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The Angry Singlespeeder: Just Don’t Get Hurt

The Angry Singlespeeder heeding his own advice at the Downieville Classic. Photo by Forrest Arakawa

The Angry Singlespeeder heeding his own advice at the Downieville Classic. Photo by Forrest Arakawa

I hate insurance. It’s nothing but a game of risk that’s sold based on the concept of fear. How much coverage do you need? Will it be enough? Are you willing to ruin yourself financially? Will you ever even need it? It’s like going to a casino and spinning a roulette wheel. Nine times out of 10, your number won’t come up and things are good. But there’s always that one time; that one time which can totally ruin you if you don’t have adequate coverage.

As an avid mountain biker and participant in other potentially injurious activities, having the right amount of health insurance is crucial. Considering I am relatively young, very healthy and single with no dependents, at least my health insurance options have been relatively affordable. And when the Affordable Care Act (ACA) goes into full effect on January 1, depending on who you are, healthcare will get a whole lot more affordable or a whole lot more expensive. Maybe they should add an asterisk to the end and clarify exactly whom it will be affordable for, because it surely won’t be affordable for everyone.

Since I am single with no kids, self-employed and make less than $47,000 per year, under the ACA, my options actually are more affordable than ever thanks to a pretty generous federal tax credit. So thank you, middle class taxpayers who bear the brunt of these changes. You’re helping pay my healthcare so I can continue to affordably live the dream of riding more and working less. Much respect, because without that federal tax credit, my monthly cost would have more than doubled for the same plan.

Friend of Mtbr Adam Spencer Kirkland broke his hip riding this summer. Wait 'til he gets the bill for that out-of-network juice box.

Friend of Mtbr Adam Spencer Kirkland broke his hip riding this summer. Wait ’til he gets the bill for that out-of-network juice box.

But even though my healthcare is now more affordable than ever, like everyone applying for ACA coverage, I still had to go through the agonizing process of figuring out which plan would work best for my lifestyle. Because I rarely get sick, I rarely injure myself and rarely ever need prescription drugs, really all I need is a super basic, stripped-down plan that covers me in the event of a catastrophic injury.

In case you’re not familiar with the new federal plan structure, there are four levels of coverage you can opt for: Bronze, Silver, Gold and Platinum. Basically, the more precious the metal, the higher the monthly premium and the lower the deductible you pay. Being the singlespeed cheapskate that I am, of course I immediately started looking at the cheapest Bronze plans.

But I’m not looking at the cheapest Bronze plans purely because they’re the cheapest and I don’t value my life. In all honesty, I’m looking at this from a game of probabilities. I’m not scared by the “what ifs.” You can never fully control what’s down the road. All you can do is evaluate the past and let it guide you into the future. I’ve always been lousy at math, but the one mathematics class I did get an A in was statistics. Studying the laws of probabilities is essential when determining insurance needs.

The road to recovery from a broken hip is long, but bike schwag helped Adam get through it.

The road to recovery from a broken hip is long, but bike schwag helped Adam get through it.

Over the past 20 years I’ve been to the ER two times, been to an orthopedic surgeon once (no surgery) and had one round of light physical therapy on a slightly torn labrum. The only bone I’ve ever broken was a fractured ring finger after I got run over by a car in a road riding accident. I thank my Scottish and German ancestry for some damn strong bones on that one. Now of course, having said all this, I’ve completely jinxed myself and will end up in traction sometime next week.

People like me are what make insurance companies insanely profitable. Clearly, the higher monthly premiums I pay just go to the bottom line profitability of an insurance company. I rarely, if ever, take advantage of my health insurance premiums. Just as middle class taxpayers bear the brunt of all those receiving federal tax credits under the new ACA structure, healthy, injury-free folks with nary a claim like myself keep insurance companies raking in the dough.

And if I was more of a worrier and intimidated by the fear of “what if,” I probably would be looking at Silver and Gold plans with higher monthly premiums and lower deductibles. I look at it this way—the older I get, the more risk averse I get. If I’ve somehow managed to make it 37 years without serious injury, chances are pretty good I’ll make it another 37 years without serious injury.

With all statistics and probabilities aside, by far the best insurance for active folks like us is good judgment; something I’ve definitely lacked in the past. But the older I get, the better I get at it. Quite simply, in today’s ever-complex world where healthcare costs can completely crush folks financially, the mantra to always recite before dropping in on a trail is “DON’T. GET. HURT.” I know it sounds lame. I know it sounds like something your mom or dad would say. But that’s today’s reality. Not only is getting hurt going to be far more painful on your bank account than your person, but getting hurt is also just a giant pain-in-the-ass inconvenience.

Was casing that 15-foot gap worth the three months mandatory time off the bike during the best part of the riding season? Was running out of talent in that rock garden nobody else would ride worth the month you must spend having someone else wipe your ass every time you need to drop a deuce? I’m willing to bet the answer is a resounding “hellz no,” but when you’re in the moment, those considerations don’t hit you until a giant tree does.

We're happy to say Adam is on the mend and will be back to his fast n' furious self soon.

We’re happy to say Adam is on the mend and will be back to his fast n’ furious self soon.

I’ve walked away from some harrowing crashes in the past; I’ll chalk it up to a combination of good karma and genes built to survive the apocalypse. But the older I get, the more I heed the advice of my older, more injured friends; you don’t recover as quickly from a wreck as you used to. Right now, my body is like my Grandma’s old Pontiac Bonneville—not a ding or a scratch on it, always well cared for with low miles and in perfect shape. I want to keep it that way. Not only because it’s a hell of a lot cheaper, but also because it would just be awesome to get to the end of my life as an old man, look back, and say, “I did some amazingly fun and stupid shit during my brief time on Earth, and I’ve somehow managed to make it through it all unbroken.”

With that in mind, I opted for the cheapest Bronze healthcare plan I could find. It has a low monthly premium (especially with the tax credit), but with a $6,000 deductible. I figure, if I’m going to the hospital, I’m going for a damn good reason that’s going to cost a hell of a lot more than $6,000 to fix. Plus, having that high deductible in the back of my head will help keep my huevos in check every time I hit the trail. And to make sure I don’t have any temporary memory lapses, I put a giant sticker on my stem that simply reads “$6,000.” As much as I hate dealing with insurance, I hate dealing with hospitals even more.

Editor’s Note: The Angry Singlespeeder is a collection of mercurial musings from contributing editor Kurt Gensheimer. In no way do his maniacal diatribes about all things bike oriented represent the opinions of Mtbr, RoadBikeReview, or any of their employees, contractors, janitorial staff, family members, household pets, or any other creature, living or dead. You can submit questions or comments to Kurt at singlespeeder@consumerreview.com. And make sure to check out Kurt’s previous columns.

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