April Fool | Radical changes at ENDURO Magazine

Now that the whole ENDURO hype is over, our editorial team can slowly return to normality and devote our days to the growing market of dirt jump bikes. Since the renowned Dirt Magazine announced their withdrawal from the printing press, we’re spotted a pretty significant gap in the market…

Die ENDURO Eigentümer und unser Art Director auf Druckerei-Besichtigung.
The owners of ENDURO and art director on a tour of the printer’s premises.

“We always predicted that smartphones and iPads were only ever going to enjoy fleeting popularity, and that consumers would once again opt for print media,” explains ENDURO’s founder Robin Schmitt.

Die ersten gedruckten Seiten! WOW!
The first printed pages! WOW!

“When we first launched ENDURO in 2012, everyone thought iPads were super hip — and that’s really the primary reason we pushed for this format. This means we’ve actually been responsible for this aggravation and harmed the economy too. Printing companies have suffered. And at press camps it was no longer possible to chill out and enjoy a beer, secure in the knowledge that you had two weeks before the print deadline so you could write the article at home in peace. Nope, imagine this right: we actually had to work. Oh, and ride bikes too.”

Inspiration an Kiosk. Alltäglich kommen hier abertausende interessierter Leser vorbei, um sich ihre Zeitschriften abzuholen. Dieses Potential soll mit dem Schritt gen Print nun ausgeschöpft werden.
Inspiration from the shelves. Thousands of interested readers head here on a daily basis to collect their newspapers and magazines. By opting for the printed word, we’re going to utilize this potential.

But that’s all over now. The advantages of printing the magazine are undeniable. You can publish without time pressure by denying the existence of the Internet. In addition, we’ll swap precise analytical tools such as Google Analytics by setting up our own industry-funded magazine auditing office to monitor circulation. We can now also send free copies to countless friends, manufacturers and other interested parties, guaranteeing that the joy is spread. Printing gives you something tangible; you know where you stand with it. Quite simply, the printed word has more meaning.

"Weniger Inhalt, für mehr Geld. Die Verwendung von leichtem 20g-Papier macht den Transport und Versand zudem erheblich günstiger", so Print-Experte Aaron Steinke. Hier in unserem neuen Rechenzentrum, um die Druckdaten zu verwalten.
“Less content for a higher price. The majority of our budget will now go towards printing and delivery instead of research for the articles. Choosing the super lightweight 20g paper means transport costs are significantly lowered so that higher profits can be achieved,” explains the resident print expert Aaron Steinke. Here’s our new data centre where we’ll manage the huge printing figures.
Bereits im letzten Jahr druckten wir eine erste Infobroschüre zum Magazin und betitelten diese als „Pioneers" .
Last year we actually printed the first information brochure on the magazine, entitled Pioneers.
In manchen Ländern wird gar eine Luxussteuer auf das ENDURO Mountainbike Magazine erhoben.
Certain countries will levy a luxury tax on ENDURO Mountainbike Magazine.

How are we going to deliver to our international readers?
For North America and EU countries there won’t be a problem, but we do occasionally have issues here with high customs duties and taxation. In contrast to other publications, ENDURO Mountainbike Magazine is subject to a luxury tax in certain countries due to its elaborate and exclusive design. It is also the case that several countries have introduced an additional tax based on public health policies. According to experts, this has arisen from the increased likelihood of addiction, particularly given the interactive functions of the printed format.

Diese seltene Taubenart aus Südfrankreich besitzt eine enorme Ausdauer und wird für ENDURO entlegene Regionen und Länder wie Bhutan oder Sibirien oder die Azoren anfliegen.
This rare pigeon from the South of France boasts enormous levels of endurance and is set to deliver ENDURO to far-flung regions and countries such as Bhutan and Siberia.

For countries that are located further away such as Mongolia or Timbuktu, we’ve opted for local transport methods like camels, carrier pigeons, donkeys and even Genghis Khan himself in order to boost the local economy. This is our interpretation of ‘Think Global, Act Local.’ After all, it would be a bit shortsighted to rely on one single international company when you’re trying to artificially maintain national borders. As we know, the Internet tried in vain to globalize marketing and communication.

Die ENDURO-Crew beim  HQ in Deutschland.
The ENDURO crew at the HQ in Germany.

“Our recent recruitment drive has been a crucial part of our long-term strategy. You simply need more staff if you’re going to print the magazine. The logical consequence is that we streamline the programmers and the film team,” Max-Philip, ENDURO owner and financial director, outlines the vision.

Grafiker Julian: Endlich abhängen, Wassermelone schlürfen und Cocktails saufen!
Graphic designer Julian: “Finally, I get to hang out, slurp on a watermelon and drink cocktails. Even the monkey Udo (left) will be jealous of that.”

The conversion to print media will result in less stress for our graphic designers. As it stands, creative director Christian can be found at home in the recuperative holiday destination of Bad Liebenzell ,Germany, art director Julian Lemme is on safari in the South American jungle, spending his mornings fighting monkeys and afternoons battling fatigue in the hammock, frantically trying to work on the layouts. While the (design) bosses are on holidays, the media designers naturally have their heads down in the office, focusing on preparing the data for print.

ENDURO Film-Experte Klaus, der gerade mit neustem Filmequipment ausgestattet wurde: Videos werden zukünftig einfach per praktischem QR-Code integriert."
ENDURO film expert Klaus has just received the latest camera equipment and is happy about the new strategy focussing on print: “Videos are simply going to be integrated into the print issues with QR codes.”
Bereits CNN hat berichtet.
CNN has already reported on these developments.

Forget this video! Back then we were still young and optimistic!

But it won’t only be printed pages that function as an information portal for ENDURO Mountainbike Magazine in the future:

ENDURO — demnächst auch gebacken als Plätzchenform...
ENDURO — soon available in cookie cutter form…
… oder in Pudding-Form. Lecker! Fest steht: In allen Redaktionen wird nur mit Wassergekocht!
… or as a pudding topping. Delicious! One thing’s for sure: every editorial office is going to do the same. In five years people will ask: What the hell was Facebook, Instagram and Twitter?
ENDURO-Chef Robin hat „seitdem der ganze Stress mit diesem Online endlich der Vergangenheit angehört“ nun auch endlich mehr Zeit. So beschäftigt er sich tagsüber mit dem Pumptrack-Bau im Garten des neuen Büros…
ENDURO boss Robin has finally got time to himself “Now that this whole online stress thing is a thing of the past.” His days are now spent building the pumptrack in the office garden…
…oder donnert mit seiner Harley um den Block.
…and disturbing the peace in the neighborhood on his Harley.
Wir haben unbenutzte iPads zu verkaufen. Leider mussten wir feststellen, dass doch keiner darauf liest, geschweige sie denn kauft!
We’ve got unused iPads to sell. Unfortunately we’ve had to accept that no one reads on them, let alone buys them.
Echte Handwerkskunst: ENDURO Cap geölt und geschweißt aus unserer heimischen Werkstatt. Diese kann bei uns käuflich erworben werden (Wichtiger Hinweis: Zahlung nur in Bar oder per Scheck möglich, keine digitale Transaktionen möglich).
True craftsmanship: ENDURO cap oiled and sweated-up in our workshop. Now available to buy. (Important: payment only by cash or cheque. Digital transactions are not possible).

On that note, kick back and enjoy the day and its fine offerings. We should take this opportunity to say this: We appreciate all (ok, most of) our colleagues within the industry! Happy Wednesday, gents!